Assalaamualaikum…
Hey, all! Right now, I’m sitting in front of my desktop in my office, trying to do webhosting but there’re soooo many errors and incompatibilities…Well, since I still have no idea why those errors happen and how to fix it, I decide to get some relax and start writing my blog.. 
Hmm…last night when I was about to go to bed, suddenly I remember one of my conversation with my special friend..That conversation means a lot for me. It opened my eyes to be a grateful person and always trying to do my best in anything I do.. It touched my heart so deeply that I would like to share it with you…hope it will be worth for you as well as it does to me..
As you may recall, I’m a 6th semester student in President University majoring IT. And guess what? After almost 3 years I learn many things related to IT, I say,” I don’t like IT. This major is not suitable for me. I don’t like it.”
Since I was an elementary school student, I always wished to become a doctor. That was my highest desire that I gave all my effort in order to achieve that. I was studying soooo hard, taking additional course, praying, etc, etc…
However, Allah seemed to have different plan for me. After all those restless struggle, I failed in my SPMB for both Medical Faculty in UI and UNDIP. I was shocked, I think I can do most problems in the test very well, yet I failed. It cost me one night full of tears.. Even in the next day, I kept looking at the SPMB result announcement in the newspaper, wishing that I’ve missed my name, that it’s actually there but I didn’t see it. I failed, again, to find my name. And it cost me another night full of tears..
I don’t know what to do, I can’t think other major to take but Medical…I was absolutely desperate. Then my mom’s best friend phoned and told her that there was a scholarship offer in President University. She suggested my mom to ask me whether I want to try out the scholarship test. Since I didn’t know where to continue my study, I accepted that offer. I registered, took the test, and get full scolarship.
At the time I filled the registration form, I don’t know what major to choose. I dropped all the Business majors coz I didn’t have either basic or interest in that field. Also I dropped Engineering majors since the test for Eng majors included Physics subject, and I know I won’t get it. Hence, the only choice I had is Computing faculty of IT or IS, well, I chose them coz I didn’t have other choices..
So, here I am..IT students, without any knowledge about IT and without any desire to gain the knowledge. I was frustrated, I feel that I was the most stupid student in my class. All my friend seemed techno-minded and up to date. And me? Such an ugly duckling. I don’t like the course, it is hard to understand, etc, etc… Therefore, the only reason I kept studying is just becoz I didn’t want to lost my scholarship. I didn’t want to make my parents sad and disappointed. I did my study with neither passion nor joy, and it really really REALLY hurts.
Then, when I was in my summer holiday, my cousin from Surabaya came to Jakarta and I invited her to my dorm, just to let her know my college life. FYI, she took Biology major in ITS and she loved it so much. She told me that she did many researches, she invented many new things, and she really enjoyed her study. She seemed very expert and had deep knowledge in her field. Hearing that, I want to do suicide. I feel useless, ashame, and sick. I hate myself for being trapped in the stuff I don’t know and I don’t like, knowing that I can never escape.
In this worst situation, he came. I told him all my feelings since he’s the only person I trust and I feel comfortable with. I told about how hurt I was, especially when I heard about my cousin’s achievement. I told him how stupid and useless I was. I said I want to out from PU and take Medical major. “It’s not too late yet”, I said.
Unexpectedly, he was mad at me. He said coldly,”You are selfish, you know? Selfish, childish, and un-grateful. I really disappointed of you” I was shocked,”What do you mean?” And here the conversation went…
He : Have you ever think, that by getting scholarship here, you make your parents able to save their money? Have you ever think, that your parents are really thankful to you bcoz you make them able to afford your little brother’s education? To pay their loans? To fulfill their daily needs?
Me: (speechless)
He: If you take Medical major, do you know how expensive it will cost? If you take that major, probably your brother won’t be able to go to school! Probably your parents won’t be able to pay their loans!
Me: (speechless)
He: Your parents never have their own house for 17 years since they’re married, they always stay in a rented house, do they?
Me: (nodded)
He: Just know your parents are able to build and have their own house, don’t they?
Me: (nodded)
He: Do you know, that’s all becoz of you. Since they don’t spend money for your education, they can save the money to build house and even buy new car.
Me: (specchless)
He: How old are you?
Me: (whisper) Nineteen years old.
He: Well now, tell me, how many people in this country who are able to buy house and car for their parents, in the age of nineteen? Even haven’t graduated yet?
Me: (speechless)
He: You should be proud, you should be grateful. Allah gives you chances serve your parents, to help then, while not every people are able to do that!
Me: (speechless)
He: But what? You’re angry, you’re sad, you only thing about YOURself. You want to study in the field that you like, and bla bla bla, and never think about even your own parents! They already give everything to you, they sacrifice everything for you, and what do you do in return? You’re sad just because you can’t study in the major you like! That’s incomparable with what your parents already done for you! You’re so selfish!
His words hit me like a sword in my heart. At that time I cried, cried till I can’t say anything. However, his words waken me up. Yes, I’ve been so selfish and childish. I’ve always been thinking about myself, myself, and myself. He’s definitely right, I’m selfish, childish, and ungrateful.
Since that day, I realized that I can’t always get everything I want. I’ve to be strong. I must be able to survive in any condition. What are in front of me now, face it! Do the best for it!
And I remember one verse in Al Quran that’ve always been strengthened me up ever since
“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal itu baik bagimu. Dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal itu buruk bagimu. Allah mengetahui, sedangkan kamu tidak mengetahui.”
Well..that’s it. (panjang banget ya??) Yah…I just wanna share it, shall you have same problem with me, probably this writing could help you…
And now…lunch time is come!!! Yummy..yummy….See u later yah guys!!!
